


love, jimin

by robinlaufeyson



Category: Simonverse | Creekwood Series - Becky Albertalli, 방탄소년단 | Bangtan Boys | BTS
Genre: M/M
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-05-01
Updated: 2020-05-01
Packaged: 2021-03-02 01:36:04
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 3,913
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/23947051
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/robinlaufeyson/pseuds/robinlaufeyson
Summary: a jimin x yoongi love, simon au.spoiler warning for the book simon vs. the homo sapiens agenda, the movie love, simon & the book leah on the offbeat.
Relationships: Jeon Jungkook/Jung Hoseok | J-Hope, Kim Namjoon | RM/Kim Seokjin | Jin, Min Yoongi | Suga/Park Jimin
Comments: 1
Kudos: 13





	love, jimin

**Author's Note:**

> love, simon au because it's like my favourite book and movie ever!!
> 
> this takes a few scenes from both the book and the movie, credits go to becky albertalli and the writers of the movie.  
> but i have neither of these things at hand right now so i couldn't really look up a lot of things.  
> also, i wrote this in like four hours so it's pretty rushed.
> 
> disclaimer: english isn't my first language to there may be (a lot of) mistakes.

it’s a weirdly subtle conversation, jimin almost doesn’t realize he’s being blackmailed.

they’re sitting on the edge of the stage, in between rehearsals for the school musical, when martin addison says “i read your email.”

“what?”, jimin looks up.

“earlier, in the library. you didn’t log out and i used the computer right after you.”

“so then you decided to read my mails?”

“yeah, anyway, what’s the point of the fake name?”

well, the point of the fake name to keep people like martin addison from knowing jimin’s identity. that worked out brilliantly.

“i thought it might intrest you that my brother is gay.”

“what are you trying to get at?”

“nothing. look, park, i really don’t have a problem with it. it’s no big deal.”

except, that it was, in fact, a big fucking deal if martin couldn’t keep his mouth shut. and martin usually wasn’t good at that. jimin already accepted that tomorrow the whole school would probably know, because martin would sure as hell make a joke on jimin’s expenses.

“y’know, it’s pretty obvious that you don’t want people to know, with the whole fake identity thing.”

but jimin didn’t really care. the whole coming out thing doesn’t really scare jimin. at least not for him. his parents were gay, and all of his friends knew and accepted that, so him being gay really wouldn’t be a big deal.

but to suga it probably was. 

the thing about suga was that he was kind of a private person. the type of person who wouldn’t forget to log out of his email. the kind of person who would probably never forgive jimin for being so careless.

jimin still can’t believe that he’s having this conversation with martin addison. out of all the people that could’ve used the library computer right after him, it had to be martin addison. out of all the fucking people.

jimin would never have used the library computer in the first place if he hadn’t been so eager to check if suga had written back. the thing was, that phones weren’t allowed in school and he already had been caught enough times, trying to write suga during lessons or while out on the corridors. and he really didn’t want to keep going to the vice-principal to get his phone back at the end of the day.

“i actually think people would be cool about it.” yeah, no fucking shit. “you should be who you are.”

jimin had to roll his eyes.

“well, whatever. i’m not gonna show anyone.”

for a few moments jimin is relieved, before it hits him.

“show anyone? what the fuck do you mean? did you… did you take fucking screenshots or what?”

“well that’s why i wanted to talk to you. i know you’re friends with jeon jungkook…”

“can we please rewind and go back to where you said that you took fucking screenshots of my emails?”

he pauses. “i mean, i guess i’m wondering if you want to help me talk with him.”

“and why the hell should i do that?”

martin just looks at jimin with a blank expression. and then it clicks. this jungkook thing. this is what he wants in exchange for not leaking his emails. this, in exchange for not broadcasting jimin’s private fucking emails.

well, and suga’s.

jimin always thought martin was harmless. a bit of a nerd, but it’s not like that’s a bad thing. and he always thought that he was a bit hilarious.

except jimin wasn’t laughing now.

“you’re actually going to make me do this.”

“make you? come on, it’s not like that.”

“then what the fuck is it like?”

“it’s not anything. i mean, i like this boy. i was just thinking you would want to help me there. invite me to stuff when he’ll be there, you know - that kind of stuff.”

“and what if i don’t? you’ll put the mails on the fucking tumblr?”

oh, the creeksecrets tumblr: ground zero for creekwood high school gossip. everyone would know within a day.

“i just think we’re in a position to help each other out.”

“paging, marty,” bang pd calls out from the stage behind them. “act two, scene three.”

and with that martin get’s up, but before he leaves he asks.

“who is that suga guy anyway?”

“no one. he’s from california.”

if martin thinks jimin would sell out suga, then he was completely wrong. suga doesn’t live in california, he lives in shady creek. and he goes to the same school. suga isn’t his real name.

he’s someone. someone jimin might even know. but he doesn’t who and jimin isn’t sure if he actually wants to know.

suga and jimin first started talking when suga posted anonymously on the tumblr. he wrote “ _ sometimes i feel like i’m stuck on a ferris wheel. one minute I’m on top of the world the next i’m at rock bottom. over and over, all day long. because a lot about life is great. but nobody knows i’m gay.” _

jimin commented “this.” under it and attached his new, secret mail address. a day later he got the first mail from suga

  
  


jimin couldn’t get out of the door fast enough when he’s home again. it’s not like he doesn’t like his parents. it’s just that sometimes talking to them is exhausting.

namjoon, his one dad, used to be the annoyingly handsome badboy in school who married jin, his other dad, who used to be the second, even more handsome, badboy. to them school was this super cool place that everyone admired them in. it wasn’t that jimin was being bullied with no friends or something, but he also wasn’t one of the popular guys. he was just average, and he was okay with that. he had his friends and that was enough.

two of them he’s known since forever. taehyung and hoseok grew up with him. they lived just a bit down the street, which was obviously amazing in elementary school times cause they could just go to each other’s houses without having to have a parent with them.

his other friend, jungkook, just moved here at the beginning of the school year, but it felt like they’d known each other since forever, too. he fitted perfectly into their group.

there also was yoongi. jimin wouldn’t consider him to be a friend of his, but hoseok and yoongi were friends and he always joined them at their lunch table. they were acquaintances, at best, but jimin liked yoongi. he was nice.

it may seem like their group was perfect, but it wasn’t.

at first he didn’t get why taehyung hated jungkook and asking about it directly got him nowhere.

but then he noticed hoseok switching seats with yoongi during lunch - calculated switching, to maximize the odds of hoseok sitting next to jungkook.

and then the eyes.

the famous jung hoseok lingering, lovesick eyes.

when taehyung sees that look pass across hoseok’s face, he just shuts down.

which might mean there’s actually one good reason for being martin addison’s wingman matchmaker bitch. if martin and jungkook hook up, maybe the hoseok problem will just go away.

then, taehyung can chill the heck out and equilibrium will be restored.

so it isn’t just about jimin’s secret. it’s hardly about jimin at all.

  
  
  


“okay, park what’s your deal?”

“my deal?”

“i think you’re avoiding me.”

“well, i’m not.” jimin says, pushing himself off the wall he’d just been leaning against and making his way to the auditorium where rehearsals would soon start. he doesn’t wanna piss off bang pd by being late again.

“seriously”, martin says, “i’m not going to show anyone the emails, okay? stop freaking out about it.”

but jimin thinks he’ll take that with a million fucking grains of salt. because martin sure as hell didn’t say he was deleting them.

martin looks at jimin, who can’t quite read his expression. it’s funny. all the years he’s been in class with this kid, laughing along with everyone at the random shit he says. all the times he’s seen him in plays. they even sat next to each other in choir for a year. but really, he barely knows him. he guesses, he doesn’t even know him at all.

never in his life has jimin underestimated someone so severely.

“i said i was going to talk to him, okay?”, jimin has his hands already on the auditorium door, ready to open it.

“but you could’ve done that already!”

“look”, jimin sighs, taking his hand off the door.

“there’s a party at one of hoseok’s friends house on saturday. do you wanna go with us?” jimin hated that he had to ask him that.

martin’s eyes brighten.

“it’s a halloween party. i’ll send you the address, okay?”, with that jimin turns around again, opening the door to the auditorium.

  
  


to say that the party was a disaster was an understatement. martin dresses up as a fucking freudian slip. it wasn’t hilarious until jimin was drunk out of his mind, after having spent one too many rounds playing beer pong with yoongi against jungkook and martin.

jimin didn’t really know how it happened but yoongi asked him if he wanted to play and jungkook and martin were right there and martin hadn’t talked to jk all night long so jimin took the opportunity and asked them both if they wanted to play. that way yoongi and he had someone to play against, and martin couldn’t be mad at him for not trying.

after that jimin was sure that yoongi was suga. he didn’t know why, he just seemed like the exact kind of person that suga was, and because he was so out of his fucking mind he searched the house for yoongi, wanting to confront him.

he ended up finding yoongi making out with a girl from the cheerleader squad. jimin found himself a bit later throwing up on the toilet.

he shouldn’t be this sad about the fact that yoongi wasn’t suga, right? he barely knew him. but yeah, it would have been amazing if suga would’ve looked that good.

jimin found himself talking to hobi a bit later. they were watching tae and jungkook dancing together to some bad pop song, but both of them were laughing.

“i think i’m gonna ask jungkook out”, hobi suddenly said.

jimin stopped in his track, somehow he had to stop this.

“but… didn’t he tell you?”

“what?” jimin panicked. what was he supposed to say?

“well he’s…”, he started, “he’s straight. he told me.”

it wasn’t the perfect lie, cause if martin got together with jungkook, in the end, it wouldn’t make sense. but for now, that would do.

“why would he tell you that he’s straight? don’t you usually only come out when you’re not straight?”

jimin just shrugged his shoulders and took a sip of his beer.

taehyung and he left the party a bit later. tae was supposed to sleep at his place, which was nice cause jimin was pretty sure that he wouldn’t have been able to make it home on his own.

his parents were still up, sitting together in the living room. jimin knew they weren’t gonna be mad at him for underage drinking. as long as he was home before curfew and didn’t drive drunk he would be fine.

“the room stopped spinning”, jimin said when he was lying in his bed, staring up at the ceiling. the silence that followed wasn’t bad, but taehyung still broke it.

“do you ever feel weird?”

“weird?”

“yeah.”

“sometimes i feel like i'm always on the outside.”

“what do you mean?”

“like tonight, you know… i was at that party, and it was fun, but… it kinda felt like i was watching it from across the room. i don't know, there's this invisible line that I have to cross to really be a part of everything and i just, i can't ever cross it.”

“i feel that way sometimes, too.”

“not tonight you didn't.”

“yeah, I was trying something.”

“yeah, sometimes I think it'd be so much easier to be one of these people who can just take a few shots and then hook up with whoever's closest. yeah, I guess I'm just unlucky.”

“unlucky? why?”

“because I'm not a casual person.”

“what kind of person are you?”

“i think i'm the kind of person who is destined to care so much about one person, it nearly kills me.”

“me too.”

“it's getting late. we should go to sleep.”

“chimchim?”

“yeah?”

“good night.”

“good night, tae.”

  
  


dear suga,

so one of my best friends likes the other and he has no idea. i guess we all have secrets. anyway, i’ve been thinking about why i haven’t come out yet.

maybe it’s because it doesn’t seem fair that only gay people have to come out. why is straight the default?

i mean, for my parents that isn’t the case. i’d just have to show up with a boyfriend and they’d immediately invite him for dinner, no questions asked.

but coming out to anyone else? that’s different.

or maybe it’s because i can’t be sure this whole “being gay” thing is forever.

or maybe it’s that there’s not that much of high school left and part of me wants to hold on to who i’ve always been just a little longer.

and then when i go to college in los angeles or something i’ll be gay and proud.

i promise.

i’m not sure who i’m promising.

i’ll keep ruminating.

love, mochi.”

  
  
  


jimin has never hated waffle house as much as right now. why couldn’t martin just shut up and run with them through their lines like he was supposed to? no instead he had to stand on the fucking table with jungkook and shout “jungkook is an incredible, strong man who deserves his own goddamn superhero.” why couldn’t he shut up for one second?

the only good thing was that jimin was reminded of lyle, who used to be in his biology class and who he now met again as a waiter here at waffle house.

jimin had the same feeling as he had with yoongi. he felt like he could be suga.

suga, who he just got an email from, right when lyle was on his break.

“i’ll be right back”, jimin told martin and jungkook before leaving them both alone to get a bit of fresh air.

  
  


“mochi,

if i were a betting man i’d say you were drunk emailing me during that last letter. don’t worry. i liked it.

as for coming out, i know what you mean about wanting to wait till college.

but our emails have inspired me.

i’m going to tell my family.

so thanks, mochi.

love, suga.”

  
  


when jimin was driving jungkook home later he found himself stopping on the side of the road. jungkook looked at him confused, but jimin just tightened the grip on the steerin wheel and kept on staring on at the road in front of him. ever since suga’s email, he wanted to tell someone too.

he felt inspired by him too.

“jungkook?”

“yeah?”

“i’m gay.”

“oh.”

  
  


homecoming was an absolute disaster.

somehow he convinced hobi to ask taehyung out on a date, even though hobi was still interested in jungkook but he also knew that tae like hobi so this whole thing was an absolute mess.

and also it turns out lyle was, in fact, not suga.

and to add onto that, martin confessed his love for jungkook in front of the entire fucking school, and was then rejected by jungkook, again in front of the entire fucking school.

it was an absolute disaster.

and it was even worse when jimin’s emails got leaked onto the tumblr. that asshole really did that.

that fucking asshole martin fucking addinson leaked his fucking private emails onto the fucking tumblr.

the only good thing was that it was during christmas break and he could just isolate himself for two weeks, and not talk to anyone. not even taehyung, hobi or jungkook.

he came out to his parents, tho. like, an actual proper “hey dads, i gotta talk to you” kind of coming out and not a “meet my boyfriend” kind of coming out.

his parents comforted him a lot, though.

they didn’t go through the same thing of being outed against their will, but still, they felt for him. so jimin found himself helping jin cook and laughing about how he didn’t want namjoon in the kitchen or watching bad reality shows with both of them.

if it wasn’t for the fear of going back to school, the break might’ve not been that bad.

suga was away for the break. some cabin where he didn’t have internet, so he had yet to find out about everything.

jimin’s friends were mad at him when they saw each other on the first day of school again, which was obvious. hobi and jungkook got together on silvester and they got talking as to why it took them so long to get together and, surprise surprise, it was jimin’s fault for lying to the both of them.

tae was mad at him because he tried to set him and hobi up, knowing that hobi was into jungkook and basically setting tae up to get his heart broken.

tae also told him that he had no feelings for hobi whatsoever and that he misinterpreted the conversation they had on the night of the halloween party a bit. 

they were mad at him, but they didn’t leave his side when they entered the school.

jimin may have been an asshole, but he didn’t deserve to be outed like that.

jimin was happy that he had the best friends in the entire world.

  
  


suga had deleted his email address and jimin doesn’t think he’s ever cried harden than before. he didn’t remember falling asleep that night, but he definitely remembers his swollen, bloodshot eyes the next morning.

  
  


the only reason why jimin hadn’t given up yet was the musical they were supposed to perform soon. he put all his energy into rehearsals, painting the props, running lines and helping the others with the dance routine. the opening night was approaching faster than expected, so everyone had way too much to do to see jimin sneaking away.

he wanted to catch some fresh air after being stuck in the auditorium for what felt like days now.

he found himself leaning against the same wall that he’d been leaning against months prior when talking to martin and obviously martin addison had to show up exactly at that moment. couldn’t jimin be left alone for just one fucking second?

“hey, park, i wanted to talk.”

“there’s nothing to talk about.”

“i… look, i wanted to apologize. i overreacted.”

“yeah, no shit.”

“but everyone was talking about me and i wanted to give them something else. i thought it wouldn’t be a big deal.”

“well, i don’t care if you thought that my coming out wasn’t a big deal, martin. i’m supposed to be the one that decided when and how and who knows, and how i get to say it, that’s supposed to be my thing. any you took that away from me.”

jimin took a breath to calm himself down.

his voice was shaken when he said “you destroyed everything between suga and me.”

jimin could feel a tear falling from the corner of his eye and god, was he really about to cry in front of martin fucking addison?

“i’m really sorry, okay. i don’t know how to make it up to you, really.”

“it’s okay”, jimin mumbled before making his way back into the auditorium.

  
  


he found himself a bit later sitting in front of his laptop. he had to do something to get to suga, right? he couldn’t just let him go like that. there was no way he’d just give up without fighting.

so jimin started typing.

  
  


dear students of creekwood high school, 

as anyone with a half-decent data plan already knows, a recent post declared on this very website declared that i was gay. the delivery left something to be desired, but the message is true. i am gay. 

for a long time I was killing myself to hide that fact. i had all these reasons, “it was unfair that only gay people had to come out. i was sick of change.”

but the truth is I was just scared. first, i thought it was just a gay thing, but then i realized no matter what, announcing who you are to the world is pretty terrifying, because what if the world doesn’t like you? 

so i did whatever i could to keep my secret. i hurt the best, the most important people, and i want them to know that i’m sorry. i am done being scared, i’m done living in a world where i don’t get to be who i am. 

i deserve a great love story. 

disclaimer, this is about to get romantic as f, so anyone averse to gratuitous feelings, kindly click over to the buzzfeed quiz or resume the porn you paused to read this. 

this guy that i love once wrote that he felt like he was stuck on ferris wheel. on top of the world one minute, rock bottom the next. that’s how I feel now. i couldn’t ask for more amazing friends, a more understanding family. but it would all be so much better if i had someone to share it with. 

so, suga, i might not know your name or what you look l like, but i know who you are. i know you’re funny and thoughtful. you choose your words carefully and that they’re always perfect, and i know that you’ve been pretending for so long that it’s hard to believe you can stop. i get it. 

like i told you at the very beginning, i’m just like you. 

so, suga, after the play, friday at ten, you know where i’ll be. 

no pressure for you to show up. but i hope you do, because you deserve a great love story too. 

love, jimin.

  
  
  


his friends were still cheering for him.

jimin hated being in this position, he felt so vulnerable. everyone was able to see that he was alone, that suga wasn’t there.

that suga didn’t like him the way.

that suga didn’t care enough about him.

god, he even hated that martin addison paid for the last round.

so that was it, huh?

no suga.

but when the guy who worked at the ferris wheel wanted to close the gate again for jimin’s last round on the ferris wheel somebody actually got up and walked towards him.

“can i sit there?”, yoongi asked.

“y’know, i was kinda waiting for someone.” jimin smiled weakly.

“yeah, i know.”

it took jimin a while to find hise voice.

“so, it’s you?” the ferris wheel slowly started to spin.

“yeah, it’s me.”

“but… but that night at the party?”

“i was drunk and it ended like, a minute, after you saw us.”

“oh.”

“i didn’t think you would come”, jimin added after a few momemts of silence.

“me neither, until i was walking up towards you, i didn’t think i had it in me.”

  
  


and with that, when they were on top of the ferris wheel, on top of the fucking world, jimin finally got to kiss suga for the whole world to see.


End file.
